December 2018

By Nancy Alexander

As one year ends and a new one begins, many of us are reflecting on our lives. Well, today, I want to make you a promise. No matter what is behind you, you can take control of your future. You can choose to dream big. You can make your life whatever you want it to be.

2018 was an amazing year for me. For example, I published my first book, An Unlikely Gift: Finding Inspiration Caring for My Father with Dementia. I went from being employed to being self-employed. I earned another clinical certification to help others in our community enhance their mobility and live a better life. I don’t say that to boast. I say it merely to demonstrate that if I can do it, you can too. It does not matter how big or how small your dream is. What matters is the dream.

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So today, I would like to share an important first step to make your dreams a reality this year. What big dreams do you have for the next year? Do you make New Year’s resolutions? Or, for you, is the process of improving your life continuous? Either way, consider my recommendation below as an all important first step.

Let me go on record and say that I am not one to make New Year resolutions. Sure, years ago I did and back then I would get all charged up for a bit, maybe a month or two, and then life would take over and I would slip back to my ways. It’s like that new gym membership. Take a look at all the new people in the gym in January and maybe February. Come March, many are nowhere to be found. They had good intentions, but change is hard.

First Things First

I want to challenge you in this brand-new year to look forward by first looking back. Hear me out. What I’m asking you to do is to look back on the last 12 months or so and think about what you achieved this year. What did you accomplish? What did you learn that was new to you? Where did you travel for the first time? What new skill did you master this year? Did you make a new friend this year? What relationships became more meaningful this year?

I started doing this about four years ago. I look back at the past year and make note of my achievements. Every single year I am amazed at what is on my list. We have a way of forgetting our accomplishments you see. Our lives move so fast and our own programming will have us look first at what we didn’t do or achieve. Look for the positive for a change. Look for what makes you smile. Look for what makes your heart sing.

This is a great exercise to do when we start a new year, but truly we can do it anytime. I do it during the year too. I find it particularly helpful when I get into what I call a “funk.” Do you ever have those times too when things just don’t go right? What I’ve learned is that sometimes I can be my own worst enemy. I catch my self-talk becoming negative and that limits me from seeing the good. That is the time when I have to turn things around right away.

To do this I stop and write down everything for which I am grateful. I mean everything. It might be hard for you to find things to put on your list at first but stick with it. Once you find one and then another, it tends to snowball after that. The holidays – even with all their beauty – can be stressful too. This is the perfect time to appreciate all you have achieved. It works, I promise. It has a wonderful added benefit too. You will find that your mood, your mindset, will improve almost immediately.

Write Them Down

Go ahead, write them down. Some of you will be surprised about how many things you have done in the past year. If you have trouble getting started, ask yourself these questions:

What was your biggest accomplishment this year?

What are you most proud of this year?

What experience taught you the most?

What one word sums up your year?

Once you think you have everything listed, put your pen down and read your list. Feel how that feels to relive each accomplishment. Doesn’t that feel great! Do you see that smile on your face? Keep reading until you’ve read them all. Take the time to acknowledge what this year has provided. Take the time to give yourself a pat on the back for what you have accomplished. You deserve it! Be good to yourself and bear your own gift this year.

The really cool thing is that this will open your mind to positive thoughts about your future. Let the ideas flow when this happens. Dream, and dream big. Write these down when they come to you. Don’t discount anything. Write them all down. Revisit this list often and decide what’s worth exploring more. Who knows, you might be on the cusp of something special.

Looking back is a gift and a great way to jump start your future. You are capable of so much! So, before you spend money on something you may not use later, take the time to just breathe and appreciate all you have achieved. Appreciate what YOU accomplished this year and use that to propel you into another great year of new opportunities and an even better life. Your new year starts now. Make it great.

https://www.agingwellnow.com/about/

By Nancy Alexander

Growth spurts make us stronger. They make us better. At any age. However, this story is not about a childhood or adolescent growth spurt. This is an adult story. The challenges we face as we age can rock us to the core. How we respond is what matters. This is the kind of growth spurt I’m talking about.

“My growth spurt was in my 50’s and 60’s,” said Linda Sage Fenti. “I painfully came to realize that God is not Santa Claus. Being a ‘good person’ and having faith does not mean our journeys won’t get rocky. Sometimes our prayers don’t seem to get answered.”

Linda is referring to the illness and loss of her first husband to a rare Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma that invaded his skin and eventually went to an internal organ. Life was good, until it wasn’t. “This wasn’t supposed to happen,” said Linda. Her husband passed away in 2003, after thirty-two years of marriage. They have a son who is now married with two young children.

A woman of faith, Linda began to question why this happened to her husband and to her. She was disillusioned. “I even threw my Bible into the trash one night,” Linda recalled. “I was angry.”

“My friends came immediately,” Linda added. After a long walk, she retrieved her Bible and searched for understanding and hope. Whether walking outside or working in the house, she literally looked for light. “That whole summer, I looked for lights and actually wrote a list of light sources: candles, stars, fireflies, the moon, streetlights. I listed what I saw or what came to mind. I spent the whole summer, a season, doing this. My search for hope led me to find light. In hindsight, I was looking for my Savior. God, in fact, provided the light.”

It was then she recalled a song, “You’ll Never Walk Alone” By R. Rogers/O. Hammerstein II. It speaks of walking through the storm and what comes after the storm clouds have gone. “It had been one of my dad’s favorites,” she added.

Her husband’s treatments and hospital visits spanned more than ten years. Around 2000, Linda and her husband downsized and moved to Canandaigua, just a few years before her husband’s battle ended. Then, in the fall of 2003, Linda attended a Grief-share program shortly after his death. She was surrounded by faith-filled people both in her neighborhood, her church, and Community Bible Study. It was during these years that her faith grew exponentially.

Her challenges didn’t stop, however. Evidence of degenerative arthritis, sciatica, and then joint replacement surgeries followed. She was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2011 and went through the recommended treatments. She is now cancer-free. Linda is a survivor and is one in every sense of the word. She once remarked, “God makes the best knees, but it’s a good thing doctors have replacements!” Laughter aside, Linda commits to exercising and moving every day because her mobility is very important to her.

“God guides us through the valleys and provides the peaks of joy too,” according to Linda. “He was there all the time. In the midst of the storm, it was hard to see His hand. Yet it is the struggles that allow us to grow.” Her lesson is that when in the valley, look up to God, and be useful and loving to others. She believes it’s applicable to anyone in any valley. “God led me through those trying days,” said Linda. “He heard my prayers and answered in ways I could not have imagined.”

“Canandaigua has been the perfect place,” said Linda. “The connections and friends I have made have enriched my life, especially spiritually. It was meant to be. This is God’s Chosen Spot for me.” [Canandaigua is the Iroquois word for “chosen spot.” This town is located in the Finger Lakes region of New York State. The area is blessed with beautiful scenery of water and hills.] Several years after her husband’s death, Linda began spending time with a friend who also lived in Canandaigua and had recently lost his wife after a long illness. Their friendship grew. They fell in love and are now married.

She continues to work hard on her physical and spiritual health. “I want to remain active. I want to be a fit wife,” Linda noted. Her husband is very active and so are her grandchildren. She is committed to her physical goals and exercises every day either in her home, walking outside or in water. Linda added, “Because of exercise and a healthy routine and God’s blessings, I’ve avoided a second surgery on my right knee this fall.”

“I am grateful for what I can do,” said Linda. “I want to stay out of a wheelchair. I want to be able to do what God has planned–to fulfill His purpose for me.”

As for her spiritual health, she continues to grow. “I’m a work in progress. I’m trying to trust God and worry less about circumstances. I know He hears our prayers and He keeps His promises.” She added, “Aging or ‘maturing’ helps us to recognize His presence and provisions and blessings–whether in the beauty of a lovely sunrise or a cardinal on a snowy branch or the joy of an unexpected call from a friend.”

“Faith is not about being ‘religious,’ or a list of do’s and don’ts,” said Linda. “It is a matter of the heart—loving God and others, and being grateful.”

https://www.agingwellnow.com/about/

Archives for December 2018

It’s a New Year! Do This First…

Thank God for Growth Spurts